Chasing Butterflies Page 13

  “You googled it?” I ask through a laugh as I imagine the librarian’s face. Standing up, I pull my shirt over my head and push my jeans down my legs. When I’m in nothing but my boxers, I see Yara’s head lift from the pillow and then I crawl over the covers towards her.

  Chapter 17

  Yara

  “Yes, but some of the sites wouldn’t display properly because of the security at the library.”

  I hear him chuckling as he nears me. The heat from his body seeps through the fabric, warming my cold skin. “I bet they didn’t. But now you think you have a good idea what goes on, do you?”

  I know what’s he’s doing. He’s mocking me. Laughing at me and my inexperience. Well, two can play at that game. “I know exactly what goes on and what bits go where.”

  “Oh, yeah?” he says, looking up at the ceiling. “And what Internet site was this from anyway?”

  “Not from the Internet,” I tell him.

  “Then what?”

  “Books,” I say. “Ever heard of Fifty Shades of Grey?”

  He bursts out laughing and then has a coughing fit. “What?”

  “I’m joking,” I tell him, even though I’m enjoying the shocked look on his face. “I’ve heard about the book, but I’ve not read it. Some of the books that I read do get a little…naughty.”

  “I doubt it’s anything like that though.”

  “No, I’m sure it isn’t, but my point still stands. I know what I’m asking when I ask you to make love to me.”

  It goes quiet between us after that. Then a few minutes later, I hear him turn to me. “Yara,” he whispers.

  I shudder at the way his deep voice wraps around each letter of my name. Since I started hearing the unique way he says it, now I love my name.

  “Gabriel,” I whisper back. I don’t know why, but I suddenly realise that something is about to happen. His breathing has changed. I swallow and then slowly turn to face him so we’re side by side. Face to face.

  I can just about make out his eyes when he says my name again. “Yara.”

  I don’t say anything back. Instead, I look down and watch his hand move over the covers towards me. I feel his fingertips dance along the outside of my thigh, and then I hear his breath catch in his throat before he says, “I don’t think I can lie here with you and keep my hands to myself. I want to feel you. All of you.”

  My heart thumps in my chest as his words sink in. “Okay,” I breathe as his fingers slip under my nightdress.

  “Just touching,” he tells me softly.

  “Yes.” I’ll take whatever I can get, and right now his hands feel like heaven. I close my eyes, revelling in how soft his skin feels as it brushes against mine. His hand rests against my hip, and then I feel his palm on my stomach. I suck in a deep breath as his fingers graze my ribs and his eyes flick up to mine. We stare at each other while his hand creeps further up my body. I see his chest rise with each deep breath he takes, and then he briefly shuts his eyes when his hand covers my whole breast.

  “I need to kiss you,” he suddenly declares. He only needs to dip his head a fraction and then I feel his hot lips sweep across mine at the same time he gently tweaks my nipple. “Fuck,” he breathes, pulling his hands away so he can hold himself up above my body.

  The way he’s speaking as if he can’t breathe properly makes my insides turn to mush. I open my mouth, welcoming his tongue, and then I push my hands across his hard chest. When my fingers accidentally brush across his nipples, I hear him hiss and then I feel his mouth kissing all the way down my neck.

  His hand moves over my breast, his fingers gently pinching my achingly hard nipple. As his mouth moves closer to that same spot, there’s a coil-like feeling uncurling in my stomach.

  “Oh, Gabriel.” My hands move around his back and then my fingers snake into his hair as I deepen the kiss. I don’t know what this strange feeling is in my belly, but I love it. I can feel my blood pounding all throughout my body, and there’s a heavy sort of ache that’s settled in between my legs. It’s making me move my hips, pushing them until my pelvis meets his.

  “Yara,” he mumbles.

  Feeling his bare thigh against mine while his naked chest presses against my breasts is overwhelming. I feel like I want to explode. I never knew you could feel so many things all at the same time. All I know is that this feeling that’s whirling around me has to escape somehow.

  His hands are everywhere, but not where I want them to be. I want them between my legs, easing my ache, soothing the need I have that’s coursing through me like it’s a river of fire.

  “I think I’ve changed my mind,” he suddenly whispers against my skin.

  I sigh and run my fingertips up his back. “Changed your mind about what?”

  “This.” His fingers tug at the hem of my nightdress and I feel him pull away, waiting for my approval.

  “Take it off,” I tell him.

  He pulls it off so fast that it forces me to tear my mouth away from him. Then his lips close around my nipple, and I flinch as a shot of pleasure ignites in my chest.

  “Oh, God,” I breathe. “Gabriel, I—”

  He shifts above me and his knee accidentally brushes against me down there. I gasp and groan as the most euphoric feeling I’ve ever felt takes over my whole body.

  I hear a cry and realise it’s me. Then I still beneath him, and my body reels itself back in and goes limp. The tingling feeling morphs into a floating feeling, making me feel as light as a feather.

  My breaths are still tumbling out of my mouth in quick, short spurts and my chest is still rising and falling as Gabriel kisses his way up and down my body.

  “Well, that was a little sooner than expected,” he whispers against my temple.

  I smile when he slides around to the side of me and pulls me to his chest.

  Was that an orgasm? If so, it’s so much better than how they explained it on the Internet. “That was amazing,” I whisper. I take a deep breath and nuzzle in close, wrapping my arms around him. I wish I could bottle this feeling. I wish I could fall asleep knowing that Gabriel would make me feel what I just felt every single day and night.

  Then I think about how I feel when he smiles at me. Or even when he’s annoyed with me. I think about the way he made me feel when he was sticking up for me in the shop—how he made me feel like I was worth fighting for.

  “I think I could love you one day,” I confess. My eyes widen when I realise I spoke those words out loud. I freeze, but then I feel his arms tighten around me.

  “I think I could love you one day too.”

  Gabriel

  It’s been eight minutes since the sunrise woke me up. I’ve been lying in bed watching Yara sleep the whole time. And yeah, I know that might be a little bit weird, but I figured it was about time I watched her while she was asleep.

  She mumbles something about me watching her and it makes me smile. I brush a piece of her hair off her face and see her eyes flick open.

  “Ugh,” she groans, turning over onto her back, putting her arm over her eyes. “Do I have to wake up?”

  I chuckle and pull her arm away from her. “Not really, but I wanted you to wake up. I’m bored.”

  She pulls the pillow over her face and turns away from me. “Go back to sleep. Then you won’t be bored.”

  “Where did you get this tattoo?” I ask as I trace it with my finger, wondering just how long she’s had it.

  “Some guy in the main town,” she mumbles.

  “But you’re not old enough to get a tattoo,” I say, wondering how she even knew where to go.

  “I know.”

  “So did you lie about how old you were or something?”

  “Nope,” she says. “I just offered to pay him double what he was charging. He did it right there and then.”

  This guys sounds like a dick. Who takes money like that from a sixteen-year-old girl? “Who did it?”

  “Some guy.”

  “What’s his name?” I push.
<
br />   “Jez, I think,” she says, sounding bored. “He seemed pretty cool.”

  Cool? I roll my eyes but decide to drop it for now. I don’t want to argue with her this morning, and I can always ask her about it another time.

  After a few minutes, I start to tickle my fingers up and down her arm. Seconds later, I hear her giggling. “God, are you always this annoying when you’ve just woken up?”

  “Nope,” I say. “Only with you.”

  “Great.”

  “Yara,” I say seriously as I pull the pillow from her face. “About last night…”

  “You’re not about to tell me that it shouldn’t have happened or that it definitely won’t happen again, are you?” She nibbles her bottom lip and then looks away from me.

  “No, of course not,” I tell her quickly. “I was just going to say that last night was…special. I loved every second of it. I just wanted you to know that. Someone once told me that I wasn’t very good at telling people the things that I liked about them. I want it to be different with you.”

  “What does that even mean?”

  “It means I probably wasn’t a very good boyfriend. That I took a girl for granted when I shouldn’t have. That I probably didn’t let her know that I felt like I was the luckiest guy in the world because she was mine and I was hers.”

  “Oh. Is this Alex you’re talking about?”

  “Yes,” I say, nodding.

  “But you don’t think about her like that now? What if you change your mind about me?”

  I shake my head. “Alex died, Yara. She died before I had a chance to apologise for not treating her like a princess. Before I could tell her how much she meant to me. How I wanted to be hers forever.”

  “I’m sorry,” she whispers. “You must have been in so much pain.”

  “We broke up a while ago, but she died just the other week.”

  “When did you break up?”

  “Last December. She broke up with me. I didn’t want her to, but she wouldn’t take me back and I had nowhere else to go. That’s why I came back here. I never wanted to come back here.”

  I feel her stiffen, and I pull back to look at her.

  “The night you kissed me. Is that the day she died?”

  I take a deep breath and swallow the huge lump that’s suddenly wedged in my throat. “Yes.”

  “That’s why you were crying. Is that why you kissed me? Because you were upset and confused?”

  I can feel her pulling away from me, but I hold onto her. I’m not letting her go. Not now. Not without making her hear me out. “No, Yara, that wasn’t what it was. Not at all.”

  “Then wha—?”

  She suddenly stops and looks across the room. “What is it?” I ask, following her as she moves toward the end of the bed.

  “There’s someone in my garden,” she whispers.

  I frown, trying to listen for a noise but I can’t hear anything. I scramble for my clothes, but Yara doesn’t hesitate as she strides across her room to the window. I hear her gasp as I’m pulling my jeans up my legs.

  “What?” I ask.

  “Oh, no,” she cries, pulling on her nightie. “They’ve let all my butterflies out and they weren’t ready. They weren’t ready, Gabriel! And now they’re tipping my caterpillars out of their boxes!” She’s crying and wailing as she sprints from the room.

  “Yara, wait for me!”

  Shit. I rush over to the window and feel the blood freeze in my veins as my eyes find several girls in her garden, shredding all of her sashes as butterflies struggle to fly all around them.

  “STOP IT!” Yara shouts as she runs toward them.

  A girl with long, black hair spins around on her heels and grins as she flips over the last plastic box. “Well, well, well…if it isn’t the Granny killer.”

  Fuck.

  Chapter 18

  Yara

  “Give that back!” I shout, reaching for my empty plastic box. “What have you done?” My eyes move frantically over the ground, noticing the crawling caterpillars that are being stamped on as the evil girls circle around me. “Get off them,” I wail through body-shaking sobs. “Leave them alone! Leave me alone!”

  Jasmine laughs and purposely lifts her foot to squash some more. “Why are you so obsessed with them? They’re just horrible fucking creepy-crawlies. You need to get a life!”

  “I have a life!” I shout. I look up at the butterflies that are struggling to fly, the ones that are too young to be free. Fly, little butterflies. Be strong. “Leave my property. Right now!”

  They all laugh and throw some of the empty boxes before leaving my garden without another glance in my direction. Jasmine is the last, and just before she slips through the gap in the fence, she turns around and gazes up at my house. “You’re going to end up dead in there,” she says, pointing her finger at me and then behind me towards the house. “You’ll be just like your weird Grandmother, only no one will find you because no one cares about you. You’ll rot on that kitchen floor for years before anyone even thinks to look for you. You’re so insignificant that you could disappear and no one would notice…or care.”

  “That’s not true,” I wail. “There are people that would know!” But would they care?

  “Who?” She raises her eyebrows at me and then looks down at her nails as if she’s bored by our conversation. I can feel my shoulders shaking from the sobs that I’m trying to control. My hands are balled into tight fists as I attempt to keep my anger at bay.

  I want to tell her about Gabriel and what we did last night. I want to tell her how he made me feel…that it will stay with me until the second I slip from this earth. How the feel of his touch is burned into my skin. How the sound of my name being whispered from his lips will echo in my head for as long as I can hear. And if I could, I’d get a print of his hand and tattoo it onto my hip where it felt like it was always supposed to be. But instead of saying any of that, I say, “Never mind. It doesn’t matter.”

  She smirks. I wish I could wipe that stupid smirk off her face.

  “Maybe now you’ll think about leaving school. Maybe you should take some lessons on how to take care of a house or something. This place gives me the creeps.” Her eyes lift, focusing on something behind me, and then I see them widen in shock and her mouth drop open slightly.

  I spin around, wondering what she saw that freaked her out so much, and find Gabriel emerging from behind the weeping willow with a face like thunder.

  “Ww-what a-are—?” Jasmine begins to stutter.

  “Leave,” he growls at her. “Now.”

  I turn back around, expecting her to tell him where to go, but Jasmine looks absolutely terrified. Without another word or so much as a glance at me, she disappears through the gap in my fence.

  I slump to the ground, not caring how much my knees sting from the impact of the hard concrete, and start to gather as many caterpillars as I can.

  “Is she the one that’s been bullying you, Yara?” he asks as he crouches down beside me.

  I sniff and nod my head. “She and her friends, but it’s mainly her.”

  “For how long?”

  Dragging an empty box towards me, I carefully place the caterpillars into it and then gather leaves as well. “For as long as I can remember. But it’s been much worse these past few months.”

  Gabriel puffs out a deep breath and then pushes the broken boxes towards the grass. I wipe my face with the back of my hand and pick up some bits of the shredded netting. I feel broken, just like my netting is. I never thought Jasmine and her friends could be this horrible. I mean, what did those butterflies ever do to them?

  “Let me help,” Gabriel says when I start to weave some string through the broken netting to try and repair it.

  “I can do it,” I tell him, wanting to sound strong.

  “You have me now, Yara,” he says, coming up behind me. “You don’t have to do it all on your own. Please let me help.” His fingers curl around my shoulder, and then he pulls at
me until I let the sashes slip through my fingers and give in. Turning around, I keep my eyes down and let him tug me to his chest.

  “I hate them,” he says. “I hate what they do, and I especially fucking hate how they make you feel.”

  “They’re not worth hating,” I whisper as tears silently stream down my cheeks. “I don’t want you even thinking about them, never mind wasting energy feeling something for them.”

  Gabriel’s arms tighten around me, almost to the point of smothering, but I don’t pull away. My arms find their way around his back and then I squeeze him with all my might.

  “We’ll find a way to sort it out,” he tells me, his breath moving pieces of my hair. “I’ll sort it.”

  “How?” I breathe.

  “I just will,” he says. “I promise.”

  I don’t say anything back. I believe him. I trust him.

  I just hope he’s right.

  After a few minutes of holding me, Gabriel moves away and holds me at arm’s length. “Will you be okay?”

  “When?” I ask, wondering which part of this morning he’s on about.

  “Now.”

  “Where are you going?”

  He takes a deep breath and looks over my head towards the fence. “I have to go and take care of something, and I have to do it right now. It can’t wait. I’m sorry.”

  “No,” I say, shaking my head at him. “I mean, it’s fine. I’m fine. You don’t need to be sorry.”

  He nods quickly as his eyes swing back to my face.

  “Will you be back today?”

  I’m not sure,” he says. “I don’t know how long I’ll be.” He gently presses his mouth to my lips, and then he’s gone before I can ask him anything else.

  I turn around and watch him slip through the gap in the fence. With a sad look around, I run back into the house and bolt up the stairs.

  Tears wobble in front of my eyes when I stumble into my room. I hate Jasmine. I hate what she did to my butterflies. I hate that she’s made Gabriel see what a complete loser I am.